Ever since childhood I have had friends who come into my life and add to my experience as a person. Some are more lasting, some are more important than others, some are just acquaintances and not what you might call a friend but certainly not an enemy. The juvenile BFF concept of recent days is not what is being discussed here. I remember a quote from Hamlet that goes:
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar:
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them unto thy soul with hoops of steel;
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them unto thy soul with hoops of steel;
[Hamlet, Act 1, Scene3, Polonius speaking to Laertes..]
- Acquaintances (+3,000)
- Working Friends (+500)
- Friends (+50)
- Good Friends (5 or so)
- Best Friends (1)
Working Friends: These are just bit more than an Acquaintance. They are friends from work with whom you have developed a bit of trust - usually NOT your boss or supervisor, but it could be in some circumstances. I might describe these as those friends with whom you might go out to supper now and then, have a drink after work and maybe go to lunch now and then. Usually they would be those on your working team that you can support or they support you on various concepts.
Friends: These are about the same as Working Friends except that you do not work with these folks on a daily basis. These are friends from church or temple, next door neighbors or neighbors down the street, friends from social groups such as Masons or those on working committees on various activities, such as conferences or neighborhood action groups.
Good Friends: These folks are those who "kind of" meet the description below about Best Friends but have not been "tried in the fire" as it were - but who have proven to be supportive over the years, who would come pick up if you had a car wreck, who would give you $50 if you needed it (and they had it) without any questions - not even ask you to pay it back. And you would do the same because you do not have many of these kinds of friends. I am now down to only a few persons of that caliber who could be called a Good Friend. After all these years...
Best Friends: This is the person of whom Polonius is speaking above. Friends who have been there for you when you needed them and their own safety or job might be in danger if they supported your position or activity. These are those friends with whom you would leave your children or wife. I would trust these friends with my password to my computer, with my bank account, with my wife or with my life.
So - how about you? Who (outside of your family) could you call a Best Friend - or even a Good Friend? Careful. Do not be hasty about this.
Good Friends: Have you known them for more than 10 years? Have they been called upon to help and actually did it with willingness, not just because they had to do it? Did you have to help them out of some situation or volunteer to help them? Did they volunteer or jump into the fray for you? Yes, I am down to only three or four of those persons now. There have been others, but I have long since lost contact with them and now, even though I am sure that we could be Good Friends again, we do not contact each other any more.
Best Friends: Would you trust this person so save your life if it meant that he/she might lose theirs? I am down to only one person in my life with whom I would share my password on my computer or bank account. At my age, that is really sad but true. A person with whom you could trust you money, your life or your wife is rare indeed. If you have at least one, then you are blessed. If you have as many as five, then your life has been full indeed.
Until next time,
Shalom
Yaakov
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